I'm going to cut to the chase here folks....
PTSD is real.It's not something you can"understand"unless you've lived through it either.Not to take away from other causes for PTSD,those triggering events that create it,but the one that stems from War can be especially heinous and long lasting.I personally believe there should be a separate official catagory for PTSD caused from being in a war zone,perhaps someday astute doctors will recognize that(if they haven't already,I'm admittedly woefully behind when it comes to mental health research).You can't lump all PTSD cases into one catagory because the people who are suffering need different things(beyond the basics,which I'll get to in a minute)in order to reclaim a normal life again.
Being around death and shit blowing up and bullets whizzing by your head on a daily or minute to minute basis IS NOT NORMAL.Having to kill people isn't normal,nor is expecting to be killed at any moment.To expect service people to come home and just be fine and dandy is idiotic.Same goes for the people who live in the country where the war is,though that is not where my thoughts lie,not just now(but I DO think about that,alot).
Some vets will return home and end up ok.Having a family and community who love you helps.Having a home to come home to ain't too shabby either.Being able to find work that gives you some dignity,having friendships helps,none of this is really brain science.This is not to say returning military personnel won't have problems if they have a support system,but it sure the hell can make a HUGE difference.Problem is many do not,and that my fellow Americans is just plain ass WRONG.Kiss my ass if you don't agree.There's NO EXCUSE at all for any veteran to be homeless,hungry and alone,without proper mental and physical health care,without some means of employment.And they ARE out there,by the hundreds if not thousands.That has to stop.It BOTHERS me,and it pisses me off that more people aren't bothered by it.In fact,many are blissfully unaware.Enough of that,it's time we grow the fuck up about this.
To add to the hell of war,soldiers and Marines come home to a country that's barely aware there IS a war(though it seems we're coming around some,now that it's getting out more regularly how bad it is),let alone understand in the slightest what sacrifice is.We have way too many spoiled brats in this country who find even the smallest inconvenience to be worth having a fit over.Not to mention all the misinformation,political conniving,corruption and infighting.Coming home to this has to be a punch in the gut to some of our troops,I don't see how it wouldn't at least be somewhat insulting at times.
In the interest of being a Problem Solver,I'm tossing out two ideas,that might positvely impact some PTSD cases resulting from the current mess in mess o' potamia.I think they're worthy of consideration,but I have NO CLUE how to implement either one.So,Dear Reader,I leave the idea to you.If you have the connections who have the resources and smarts(which I do not have on stuff like this)for the love of God,please pass this on,I grant blanket permission.
Idea #1:
What if there was a way to match up homeless veterans with "foster families"? Obviously there needs to be a screening process on both sides,some sort of matchup system,and then perhaps transportation cost provided for a homeless vet that needs to get to where their foster family is if they happen to be far away.From there,the families provide food,clothing and shelter,along with helping in a job/schooling search and provide overall day to day support for a specified time(leave it to the concerned parties,but have a minimum commitment pre-set) to get the vet on their feet again.There may even be some parents who have lost a kid in Iraq or Afghanistan who would be willing to"adopt"a homeless vet in honor of their son or daughter who died.(though that is alot to ask,and a delicate thing.But still,for some matchups,that could be a blessing for both parties)
Of course this means making sure foster families are prepped in advance and ready to provide the structures that are needed.For example,if the employment prospects suck where you are,you might want to consider that before you volunteer.Or if you don't have the room in your home to accomodate another person so they have personal privacy,you shouldn't take this on.And so on and on.
Idea#2:
I love family farms.Anyone who knows me even a little knows that about me.My dream is to own about 80 acres(at least)with a clean water source,a house,and a few outbuildings.I'd grow veggies,flowers,herbs,raise organic beef and chicken(and eggs,maybe even milk eventually),and live my life a happy woman with her own tractor(vroom,puttputt,vroom).It's expensive though,to get started and to maintain a farm.It's also a lot of work,but the end results are satisfying.
Anyhow,if I could get my mitts on some farmland,with a home and outbuildings,I'd turn it into a full fledged running farm run and staffed by homeless vets who live and work on the farm,with people to show them the ropes.This would take a very kind and wealthy benefactor to see it through it's infancy,but eventually,with a sensible business plan and proper funding,the enterprise could become almost totally self sustaining,and partially self contained.
Working with the land and caring for animals can be quite theraputic to a wounded soul. Farms can be busy places,there's always something to do,but that lifestyle tends to be less chaotic.When people spend time working outdoors they tend to fall into a healthier life rhythm.Life has a purpose that's easier to see when you're working close to the land.That's not new agey nonsense,ask a multigenerational farming family,if you can find one these days.
Even a vet in a wheelchair or with a prosthetic limb can do stuff on a farm.There are many ways to accomodate a disabled person(raised beds for flowers and herbs and smaller veggie plants for example)to include them in a project such as this.There's plenty of work on a farm to go around.
Volunteer and/or paid professional mental health providers need to be worked into this plan somehow,maybe similar to a home care visiting nurse type deal along with any VA services that are available in a particular place.
So there you have it.
These ideas are not fleshed out to their full potential,hell for all I know programs like these exist already.I'm not an expert on much of anything,let alone taking on a task of such magnitude by myself.Bat the idea around on your own if you're so inclined,pass it around if you wish,or just tell me I'm a nut(or very naive).Whatever.I just think having a home and a way to take care of yourself out of isolation and with people who have been there/done that can go along way.Everyone needs a family,a sense of purpose,a soft place to land,even big tough military types,especially if they've been in combat.Just because I can't figure out how to do it doesn't mean I should keep it to myself.I'll let the winds carry it where they will.
Wednesday, July 12, 2006
Wednesday, June 28, 2006
Dogs
The Old White Lady has a new kitty, go see a pic of the new member of the family, and we were talking about spaying and neutering. I realzed it's time to repost my 'responsible dog owner' rant that I wrote a couple years ago.
You know I'm a dog lover and so's the Mrs. So, naturally I got a problem with a lot of folks who own dogs. Listen to me, please.
Don't get a fucking dog for stupid reasons. No, you're not going to breed the fucking thing. Just because you see how much puppies are going for, doesn't mean it's a 'get rich quick' scheme, you stupid motherfuckers. Being a breeder is hard work and you sure as hell don't know what the fuck you're doing. It's like never having popped the hood on a car, yet you suddenly feel you're qualified to open an auto repair shop. All you're gonna do is end up with a bunch of unwanted puppies. Here, I'll do you a favor. Google 'dog breeders' and send an email to five of them asking what the business entails. Then tell me you want to be a breeder. Did you know 3 million dogs and cats are put down every year because they're not wanted? Don't add to the fucking problem, dickhead.
Next, don't get a fucking Rottweiler, Doberman, Pit Bull, etc, as a penis extension, you idiot. Just like the sports car, you're only gonna be a little wiener with a bad dog. I see too many folks like this who want the dog as a status symbol and don't want to make the commitment to training and medical care. Moron, a dog is a twelve to fifteen year commitment on your part. It's just like having a kid. But hey, people have kids for the same stupid reasons. Think long and hard about it, please. (Kid or a dog, it doesn't matter. Be sure you want to make the commitment before you jump in with both feet. Just because you can, doesn't mean you should, ass.)
Next, if you're a compulsive person, and you see a cute little dog and you gotta have one, buy jewlery instead. At least you can hock it if you need the bread at a later date. Ain't nobody gonna buy a used dog, moron.
If you do decide to get a dog, do breed research. Every breed has their own traits (I wrote about my dog's foibles here.), so you have to see what will go best with you're lifestyle. If you're laid back and not into doing much training, a dog that requires a firm hand (Dobies, Rotties) ain't for you. Think Lab or Golden. Same thing if you got rugrats running around your house. All my friends' kids know not to run through my house because my Cattle Dog will try to herd them all back into one room:
If your kid gets nipped in the ankle by an Australian Cattle Dog, you're gonna have a lot of crying on your hands, trust me. If you're gonna get a mutt, use this rule of thumb. A mutt will generally act like the breed it most closely resembles.
My point is that if you're gonna get a dog, do it for the right reasons. Don't have big plans until you see what kind of dog you have, it's personality and it's traits. Get a dog because you want a pet and a companion. Anything else that flows from there is gravy.
Heed my words, Lugnut.
You know I'm a dog lover and so's the Mrs. So, naturally I got a problem with a lot of folks who own dogs. Listen to me, please.
Don't get a fucking dog for stupid reasons. No, you're not going to breed the fucking thing. Just because you see how much puppies are going for, doesn't mean it's a 'get rich quick' scheme, you stupid motherfuckers. Being a breeder is hard work and you sure as hell don't know what the fuck you're doing. It's like never having popped the hood on a car, yet you suddenly feel you're qualified to open an auto repair shop. All you're gonna do is end up with a bunch of unwanted puppies. Here, I'll do you a favor. Google 'dog breeders' and send an email to five of them asking what the business entails. Then tell me you want to be a breeder. Did you know 3 million dogs and cats are put down every year because they're not wanted? Don't add to the fucking problem, dickhead.
Next, don't get a fucking Rottweiler, Doberman, Pit Bull, etc, as a penis extension, you idiot. Just like the sports car, you're only gonna be a little wiener with a bad dog. I see too many folks like this who want the dog as a status symbol and don't want to make the commitment to training and medical care. Moron, a dog is a twelve to fifteen year commitment on your part. It's just like having a kid. But hey, people have kids for the same stupid reasons. Think long and hard about it, please. (Kid or a dog, it doesn't matter. Be sure you want to make the commitment before you jump in with both feet. Just because you can, doesn't mean you should, ass.)
Next, if you're a compulsive person, and you see a cute little dog and you gotta have one, buy jewlery instead. At least you can hock it if you need the bread at a later date. Ain't nobody gonna buy a used dog, moron.
If you do decide to get a dog, do breed research. Every breed has their own traits (I wrote about my dog's foibles here.), so you have to see what will go best with you're lifestyle. If you're laid back and not into doing much training, a dog that requires a firm hand (Dobies, Rotties) ain't for you. Think Lab or Golden. Same thing if you got rugrats running around your house. All my friends' kids know not to run through my house because my Cattle Dog will try to herd them all back into one room:
Another thing is the dog, Mrs. F's little princess. She's short, but not little, muscular and strong as hell. If you know anything about Australian Cattle Dogs, they are smart, independent, and stubborn, sorta like me. Well, thanks to their breeding, Cattle Dogs herd cattle by nipping at their ankles to get them to go where the dog wants. Well, since our little Shayna has no cattle to work, she finds herself little jobs. One is getting us to the phone when it rings. If you've ever gotten a nip in the ass from one of these dogs well . . . let's just say it leaves a mark.
My point is that the dog looks at little kids as cattle. She tries to keep them together and won't let them run around. So today, not only do I have to keep an eye on the Mrs.' breakable shit, but I have to watch her little varmint like a hawk so she doesn't nip one of the kids. Can't break the dog of that habit, it's instinct.
If your kid gets nipped in the ankle by an Australian Cattle Dog, you're gonna have a lot of crying on your hands, trust me. If you're gonna get a mutt, use this rule of thumb. A mutt will generally act like the breed it most closely resembles.
My point is that if you're gonna get a dog, do it for the right reasons. Don't have big plans until you see what kind of dog you have, it's personality and it's traits. Get a dog because you want a pet and a companion. Anything else that flows from there is gravy.
Heed my words, Lugnut.
Saturday, June 24, 2006
Hadji Girl
[This originally appeared as a four part piece at Alternate Brain. I combined them in one post here to make it easier to link to. - Fixer]
Hadji Girl
Seems the Marines in Iraq are making up their own songs (video). Now, I usually leave Affairs de Corps to Gord because they're his boys, but a lot of people are taking exception to the brutality inflicted in Haditha and other places in Iraq and this video will probably raise more Hell. Let me explain something, being I've been in combat with Marines. Remember this:
The Marine Corps is not a police orgainization. The Marines have one purpose, to kill the enemy by any means possible. If you expect them to be touchy-feely and 'community oriented' like your local cops, you're sadly mistaken.
Now, I'm not condoning or trying to justify anything that resembles a war crime, but I think some of us on the left have to develop stronger stomachs.
Note to Digby: War is ugly and dirty and if you want to win, you have to be prepared to kill women and children. That's just the way it is. If you don't want innocents killed, don't go to war, period. The guys on the ground don't have the luxury of debating whether the war is just or not.
While we rail against war, there is a sad fact that war (not this war), sometimes, has to be done. I don't want touchy-feely Marines. I don't want touchy-feely anybody in the combat disciplines, be they Army, Navy, Air Force, or Marine. I want them to be comfortable enough with killing that they won't hesitate when the time comes. I was, once. Rightly or wrongly, and don't forget these guys hear what the government wants them to hear, the Jarheads in that meat grinder believe anybody brown over there is a potential enemy. Ask a Vietnam-era infantry troop how that goes. Ask him how you justify friend from foe when Hell is erupting all around you. I couldn't, not unless you were wearing the same uniform I was.
A few weeks back, I alluded to an op in Afghanistan many years ago where we took ground fire extracting a CIA operator from Waziristan. I lost a friend on that op and I had no qualms drawing a bead on anybody on the ground as the chopper tried to lift off. I didn't care who it was; Soviet, Afghani, goat herder, it didn't matter. Shit, thems on the ground probably thought we were Russians. All we knew was we were taking fire. The door gunners and ramp gunner opened up and all of us who could, found a spot on that damned Pave Low to fire from. There was brass flying and noise from the mini guns and rifles cracking and small arms fire puncturing the fuselage, the chopper's jets screaming to lift that heavy bitch adding to the din. It was fucking insane. I'm sure a lot of innocents died that day. Have a rifle in your hands in the same circumstances and tell me what you'd do.
If the Marines had been used properly, not interchangably with Army troops or Military Police, we would see far fewer of these horrors perpetrated upon innocent civilians. If it weren't for the Chimp's illegal war, none of the atrocities would have happened. While the Marines, if found guilty, must take responsibility for their actions, the ultimate responsibility lies at the door of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue and Capitol Hill.
Hadji Girl 2
Okay, so let's talk about war a little, since most Americans think it's something like a cross between Mission Impossible and a Tom Clancy novel. It's not. People talk of war in terms of 'surgical strikes' and 'special ops units', thinking a few bombs and a few commando units running around can win any conflict. From the way the Iraq War has been run, it would seem a few of the civilians (and some of the generals) in the Penatgon believe the same things. I'm not talking about the morality of war, because war is also immoral by definition.
The idea behind going to war is to pound an enemy hard enough, destroy enough of his infrastructure, and kill enough of his people to make him lose the strength and the stomach to fight. Simple.
Your enemy's government is your enemy, his people are your enemies, and his ability to resupply his troops is your enemy. [If you want some perspective on this, check out some of the Bugs Bunny cartoons made during the war years ... if you can find them - F-man] When you have to start making distinctions; 'we are not angry with the people of (pick any country), just their government', you lose your right to wage war. When you have to say, 'we don't want to destroy their (pick something), just remove their leadership', when you force the men and women you send into combat to differentiate which of the 'enemy's' people are friend or foe, you have no right being at war to begin with.
War is for the defense of the nation and nothing else. Certainly not for 'regime change' in a nation posing no threat. It is the basest form of national revenge and, by definition, should be fought without concern for anything but victory. Dresden, the firebombing and atomic bombing of Japanese cities during World War Two, that was war in all its excruciating malevolence. It was a simple decision. We were attacked, the next day we were at war.
There was no need to spin things on 8 December 1941. No need for forged documents, no need for weapons inspectors, no need for intelligence assessments; bombs fell upon the U.S. Pacific Fleet at its homeport of Pearl Harbor. That was all the evidence needed. Did you think what happened after, the years of world war, was an honorable pursuit? There was unspeakable horror, almost a generation's worth of European and Japanese men wiped out, countless innocent deaths and we reconcile that with the fact we faced an enemy we believed evil incarnate. We did whatever was required to force their capitulation.
One day, we will have to reconcile the war in Iraq. We will have to sit back and ask if all the deaths, the maimings, and the horror was worth it. I tend to believe this war will leave us with a case of national post traumatic stress syndrome. It might take years, but eventually we will come to the collective realization that we were the bad guys. I think many of us do already.
Hadji Girl 3
Since I brought up the realities of combat and the rationale for war yesterday (Hadji Girl, Hadji Girl 2), I'd like to talk this morning about what the guys and girls in the meat grinder have to deal with.
As I've let on, I've seen combat on more than a few occasions. Basically on spec ops missions where we encountered unfriendlies. Grenada was different, but it was more of a spec ops job than a war. And that's what I'm getting at. Yesterday we spoke of the inherent inhumanity of war as it related to the civilians. Today we speak of the troops.
Some smart guy said, many years ago, that war was 'long stretches of boredom interrupted by short stretches of intense terror'. Which is quite probably true. It's this difference I'd like to talk about. The difference between 'war' and an 'operation'. I was on operations. We trained up, were on station for a week or so, took care of business, were debriefed, and then returned to our base. Over, done, put it in the past and prepare for the next.
When we were done, our ladies (or guys, but don't ask, don't tell) were waiting for us. The bar was open and you were back in the bosom of 'family', so to speak. We could decompress, drink, fuck, do whatever we had to in order to forget about the nastiness we just finished dealing with. Trust me, you have to forget, or at least put it in a place where you can deal with it.
The guys in this war don't have that luxury. Not only are they going out to fight, their patrols at constant risk from IED, but they are not safe when they come in from patrols either. They are living in the war zone. A mortar or rocket can ruin their day at any time. They are always on, always up, always juiced. There is no time, no place, for them to decompress fully.
Sex is difficult and in the Mid-East, booze is close to non-existent (black market and officer's tents only ... probably). Oh what? Sex and booze? 'We don't send our troops out to fuck and get drunk', you might say. Well, let me tell ya. They're human beings too and there are only so many ways humans can deal with that kind of stress in a place where their freedom is so limited. A place where personal safety is a very tenuous thing.
In the Air Force when I was in, we had a thing called the 'Golden B-B'. I'm pretty sure it had its origins in Vietnam. It went that there was a bullet with your name on it somewhere. Until you and that bullet met up, you'd be fine, but one day that Golden B-B was gonna get ya. Well, when you live every fucking day looking, waiting, watching for that Golden B-B, you can get a little, if not a lot, crazy. Especially when you know, until you get orders home, that Golden B-B might catch up with you as you lay in your rack, or cot, or bedroll, dreaming about the hottie waiting for you when you get home.
Do that for a year at a time. Then do that year for the second or third time.
Think you'd keep your sanity?
And you wonder why I have no patience for people who talk about war like it's a big fucking game?
Hadji Girl 4
Okay, this is the last one, basically because thinking about this is keeping me up nights again. Have I mentioned there is a big price to pay for allowing yourself to get in touch with your more baser instincts? It's how I figured out I wasn't a psychopath; those guys can sleep well.
Anyway, I'm talking about leadership today. Or the lack thereof. This struck me this morning:
And that was that. They created a culture around the need to go to war. They made their plans, fixed the intelligence, defiled a genuine relationship that took two centuries to cultivate to give them some legitimacy, and got themselves a war.
The grunts on the ground, who would ultimately do the dirty work, didn't have a say. The flag (Generals and Admirals) officers who did speak up, opposed to the folly, were cashiered or discredited. Opposition was considered traitorous. Those in command positions now are nothing more than 'yes men' for the administration.
So now we have a war run by draft dodgers and incompetents.
Under the auspices of the Global War on Terror (GWOT), we have abdicated our responsibility to treaties signed in good faith by those speaking for the people of the United States. The Geneva Conventions are not quaint or archaic, or a plot by the U.N. to tie America's hands when prosecuting the GWOT. They are in place to protect our soldiers. This is why I talk about taking the high road. The Rude Pundit says it best as only he can:
And he posits:
Yes, ladies and germs, what if? Can we take the high road? Of course not. Our leaders say treatment like that is permissible to achieve certain ends. Is it okay for us to do it but not al-Qaeda? We are in no position to protest the treatment of these men, whatever it might be, because we've taken a path no better than those we claim to be so different from. The abuses at Abu Ghraib might have been committed by the grunts, but they were given legitimacy by the leadership.
As I've explained in the first three parts of this little diatribe, and what it seems few people understand, is the guys doing the shooting don't make the decisions. They don't get the whole story, or anything near the truth. They're allowed to listen to Rush, but not Al Franken. They're allowed Fox 'News'. Most of the grunts in Iraq believe Saddam was in cahoots with Osama to pull off 9/11. So anybody who thinks the average soldier has any decision-making ability is fooling themselves. The grunts believe they are doing the right thing. They couldn't do their jobs if they didn't.
When we hear of abuses, crimes against civilians, and general misconduct by our soldiers, sailors, airmen, and Marines, you must remember the military is a tightly controlled organization. When those in the lower ranks act up, or act out, you can almost always trace it back to a permissiveness on the part of the command, be it the local commander, the theater commander, or the Commander in Chief himself.
When I was in, I knew how long my leash was. So did the other guys. We knew what our CO would let us get away with and we generally didn't cross the line. When we did, we paid, usually with really shitty details so we didn't forget exactly where the line was. My CO looked the other way to a lot of our hijinks but no one got hurt.
The line in the GWOT has become very wide and very gray. There is only one reason for that and it's simple. Failure of leadership. A rule of thumb to use is the wider and grayer the line, the higher up in the chain of command the failure goes. A supply sergeant running a black market operation out of Okinawa is a local command failure. Soldiers murdering innocent civilians and torturing prisoners is a failure at the top.
As I've said before, the grunts should pay for what they've done but so should the leadership. I've seen a whole buncha grunts go to jail over the past couple years, but the people who define where the line is have yet to answer for their crimes.
It is why I want more than to see Bush and his cronies out of power, I want them all in jail too.
Hadji Girl
Seems the Marines in Iraq are making up their own songs (video). Now, I usually leave Affairs de Corps to Gord because they're his boys, but a lot of people are taking exception to the brutality inflicted in Haditha and other places in Iraq and this video will probably raise more Hell. Let me explain something, being I've been in combat with Marines. Remember this:
The Marine Corps is not a police orgainization. The Marines have one purpose, to kill the enemy by any means possible. If you expect them to be touchy-feely and 'community oriented' like your local cops, you're sadly mistaken.
Now, I'm not condoning or trying to justify anything that resembles a war crime, but I think some of us on the left have to develop stronger stomachs.
...
I worry about people who think like this coming back into society. That kind of thing cannot be considered gallantry on the battle field. It's ugly and dirty and ultimately is going to blow back on some of these guys. I hope the Republicans are prepared to spend as much on VA mental health as they've spent filling their right wing cronies' bank accounts because a lot of these guys are going to need help. Our troops are in danger of losing their humanity in a war being fought for bogus political reasons. Some of them are going to have a hard time living with that.
...
Note to Digby: War is ugly and dirty and if you want to win, you have to be prepared to kill women and children. That's just the way it is. If you don't want innocents killed, don't go to war, period. The guys on the ground don't have the luxury of debating whether the war is just or not.
...
It's a good deal for senior ground commanders, who get career boosts by dint of assignment to the war zone that used to be a relatively peaceful country, ruled by a dictator whose fangs had been pulled by 12 years of sanctions and UN weapons inspections. For the younger ground commanders at company level, and the EM [enlisted men], of course, it's just toughski shitski, so suck it up, troop.
...
While we rail against war, there is a sad fact that war (not this war), sometimes, has to be done. I don't want touchy-feely Marines. I don't want touchy-feely anybody in the combat disciplines, be they Army, Navy, Air Force, or Marine. I want them to be comfortable enough with killing that they won't hesitate when the time comes. I was, once. Rightly or wrongly, and don't forget these guys hear what the government wants them to hear, the Jarheads in that meat grinder believe anybody brown over there is a potential enemy. Ask a Vietnam-era infantry troop how that goes. Ask him how you justify friend from foe when Hell is erupting all around you. I couldn't, not unless you were wearing the same uniform I was.
A few weeks back, I alluded to an op in Afghanistan many years ago where we took ground fire extracting a CIA operator from Waziristan. I lost a friend on that op and I had no qualms drawing a bead on anybody on the ground as the chopper tried to lift off. I didn't care who it was; Soviet, Afghani, goat herder, it didn't matter. Shit, thems on the ground probably thought we were Russians. All we knew was we were taking fire. The door gunners and ramp gunner opened up and all of us who could, found a spot on that damned Pave Low to fire from. There was brass flying and noise from the mini guns and rifles cracking and small arms fire puncturing the fuselage, the chopper's jets screaming to lift that heavy bitch adding to the din. It was fucking insane. I'm sure a lot of innocents died that day. Have a rifle in your hands in the same circumstances and tell me what you'd do.
If the Marines had been used properly, not interchangably with Army troops or Military Police, we would see far fewer of these horrors perpetrated upon innocent civilians. If it weren't for the Chimp's illegal war, none of the atrocities would have happened. While the Marines, if found guilty, must take responsibility for their actions, the ultimate responsibility lies at the door of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue and Capitol Hill.
Hadji Girl 2
Okay, so let's talk about war a little, since most Americans think it's something like a cross between Mission Impossible and a Tom Clancy novel. It's not. People talk of war in terms of 'surgical strikes' and 'special ops units', thinking a few bombs and a few commando units running around can win any conflict. From the way the Iraq War has been run, it would seem a few of the civilians (and some of the generals) in the Penatgon believe the same things. I'm not talking about the morality of war, because war is also immoral by definition.
The idea behind going to war is to pound an enemy hard enough, destroy enough of his infrastructure, and kill enough of his people to make him lose the strength and the stomach to fight. Simple.
Your enemy's government is your enemy, his people are your enemies, and his ability to resupply his troops is your enemy. [If you want some perspective on this, check out some of the Bugs Bunny cartoons made during the war years ... if you can find them - F-man] When you have to start making distinctions; 'we are not angry with the people of (pick any country), just their government', you lose your right to wage war. When you have to say, 'we don't want to destroy their (pick something), just remove their leadership', when you force the men and women you send into combat to differentiate which of the 'enemy's' people are friend or foe, you have no right being at war to begin with.
War is for the defense of the nation and nothing else. Certainly not for 'regime change' in a nation posing no threat. It is the basest form of national revenge and, by definition, should be fought without concern for anything but victory. Dresden, the firebombing and atomic bombing of Japanese cities during World War Two, that was war in all its excruciating malevolence. It was a simple decision. We were attacked, the next day we were at war.
There was no need to spin things on 8 December 1941. No need for forged documents, no need for weapons inspectors, no need for intelligence assessments; bombs fell upon the U.S. Pacific Fleet at its homeport of Pearl Harbor. That was all the evidence needed. Did you think what happened after, the years of world war, was an honorable pursuit? There was unspeakable horror, almost a generation's worth of European and Japanese men wiped out, countless innocent deaths and we reconcile that with the fact we faced an enemy we believed evil incarnate. We did whatever was required to force their capitulation.
One day, we will have to reconcile the war in Iraq. We will have to sit back and ask if all the deaths, the maimings, and the horror was worth it. I tend to believe this war will leave us with a case of national post traumatic stress syndrome. It might take years, but eventually we will come to the collective realization that we were the bad guys. I think many of us do already.
Hadji Girl 3
Since I brought up the realities of combat and the rationale for war yesterday (Hadji Girl, Hadji Girl 2), I'd like to talk this morning about what the guys and girls in the meat grinder have to deal with.
As I've let on, I've seen combat on more than a few occasions. Basically on spec ops missions where we encountered unfriendlies. Grenada was different, but it was more of a spec ops job than a war. And that's what I'm getting at. Yesterday we spoke of the inherent inhumanity of war as it related to the civilians. Today we speak of the troops.
Some smart guy said, many years ago, that war was 'long stretches of boredom interrupted by short stretches of intense terror'. Which is quite probably true. It's this difference I'd like to talk about. The difference between 'war' and an 'operation'. I was on operations. We trained up, were on station for a week or so, took care of business, were debriefed, and then returned to our base. Over, done, put it in the past and prepare for the next.
When we were done, our ladies (or guys, but don't ask, don't tell) were waiting for us. The bar was open and you were back in the bosom of 'family', so to speak. We could decompress, drink, fuck, do whatever we had to in order to forget about the nastiness we just finished dealing with. Trust me, you have to forget, or at least put it in a place where you can deal with it.
The guys in this war don't have that luxury. Not only are they going out to fight, their patrols at constant risk from IED, but they are not safe when they come in from patrols either. They are living in the war zone. A mortar or rocket can ruin their day at any time. They are always on, always up, always juiced. There is no time, no place, for them to decompress fully.
Sex is difficult and in the Mid-East, booze is close to non-existent (black market and officer's tents only ... probably). Oh what? Sex and booze? 'We don't send our troops out to fuck and get drunk', you might say. Well, let me tell ya. They're human beings too and there are only so many ways humans can deal with that kind of stress in a place where their freedom is so limited. A place where personal safety is a very tenuous thing.
In the Air Force when I was in, we had a thing called the 'Golden B-B'. I'm pretty sure it had its origins in Vietnam. It went that there was a bullet with your name on it somewhere. Until you and that bullet met up, you'd be fine, but one day that Golden B-B was gonna get ya. Well, when you live every fucking day looking, waiting, watching for that Golden B-B, you can get a little, if not a lot, crazy. Especially when you know, until you get orders home, that Golden B-B might catch up with you as you lay in your rack, or cot, or bedroll, dreaming about the hottie waiting for you when you get home.
Do that for a year at a time. Then do that year for the second or third time.
Think you'd keep your sanity?
And you wonder why I have no patience for people who talk about war like it's a big fucking game?
Hadji Girl 4
Okay, this is the last one, basically because thinking about this is keeping me up nights again. Have I mentioned there is a big price to pay for allowing yourself to get in touch with your more baser instincts? It's how I figured out I wasn't a psychopath; those guys can sleep well.
Anyway, I'm talking about leadership today. Or the lack thereof. This struck me this morning:
...
Russert: If your analysis is not correct, and we're not treated as liberators, but as conquerors, and the Iraqis begin to resist, particularly in Baghdad, do you think the American people are prepared for a long, costly, and bloody battle with significant American casualties?
Cheney: Well, I don't think it's likely to unfold that way, Tim, because I really do believe that we will be greeted as liberators.
...
And that was that. They created a culture around the need to go to war. They made their plans, fixed the intelligence, defiled a genuine relationship that took two centuries to cultivate to give them some legitimacy, and got themselves a war.
The grunts on the ground, who would ultimately do the dirty work, didn't have a say. The flag (Generals and Admirals) officers who did speak up, opposed to the folly, were cashiered or discredited. Opposition was considered traitorous. Those in command positions now are nothing more than 'yes men' for the administration.
So now we have a war run by draft dodgers and incompetents.
Under the auspices of the Global War on Terror (GWOT), we have abdicated our responsibility to treaties signed in good faith by those speaking for the people of the United States. The Geneva Conventions are not quaint or archaic, or a plot by the U.N. to tie America's hands when prosecuting the GWOT. They are in place to protect our soldiers. This is why I talk about taking the high road. The Rude Pundit says it best as only he can:
Chances are, maybe even by the time you read this, the two American soldiers, captured by the Mujahideen Shura Council in Iraq, will be dead, probably in some horrible way, probably with their bodies dumped like all the horribly murdered Iraqis in the blood and gore-strewn landscape that are the markers of Iraqi liberation...
...
What if we get pictures of the soldiers, nude, cowering, screaming in a corner, shitting themselves on the filthy floors of a makeshift cell, as their captors hold snarling dogs on leashes just out of bite range of the soldiers?
What if we learn that their captors decide that the soldiers can offer intelligence that can be of use to al-Qaeda and, in order to get that information, the captors put the nude soldiers into rooms that are heated to hellish temperatures, followed by rooms that are impossibly cold with colder water tossed onto them? What if the soldiers are made to stand for days on end? Put into stress positions that fuck up their muscles and limbs? Denied sleep? Had loud music played into their cells? Kept in isolation and fed bread and water for days, weeks on end?
...
And he posits:
...
And what about the good right-wing punditry? Would Rush Limbaugh look at the photos of the nude, cowering Americans and say it looks like fraternity hazing or some such shit? Would others dismiss it as a media fabrication? Or would they just pathetically overlook everything done in our American names to Iraqis, Afghanis, and others, calling madly for the heads of the captors, not even thinking about the irony of such a statement?
...
Yes, ladies and germs, what if? Can we take the high road? Of course not. Our leaders say treatment like that is permissible to achieve certain ends. Is it okay for us to do it but not al-Qaeda? We are in no position to protest the treatment of these men, whatever it might be, because we've taken a path no better than those we claim to be so different from. The abuses at Abu Ghraib might have been committed by the grunts, but they were given legitimacy by the leadership.
As I've explained in the first three parts of this little diatribe, and what it seems few people understand, is the guys doing the shooting don't make the decisions. They don't get the whole story, or anything near the truth. They're allowed to listen to Rush, but not Al Franken. They're allowed Fox 'News'. Most of the grunts in Iraq believe Saddam was in cahoots with Osama to pull off 9/11. So anybody who thinks the average soldier has any decision-making ability is fooling themselves. The grunts believe they are doing the right thing. They couldn't do their jobs if they didn't.
When we hear of abuses, crimes against civilians, and general misconduct by our soldiers, sailors, airmen, and Marines, you must remember the military is a tightly controlled organization. When those in the lower ranks act up, or act out, you can almost always trace it back to a permissiveness on the part of the command, be it the local commander, the theater commander, or the Commander in Chief himself.
When I was in, I knew how long my leash was. So did the other guys. We knew what our CO would let us get away with and we generally didn't cross the line. When we did, we paid, usually with really shitty details so we didn't forget exactly where the line was. My CO looked the other way to a lot of our hijinks but no one got hurt.
The line in the GWOT has become very wide and very gray. There is only one reason for that and it's simple. Failure of leadership. A rule of thumb to use is the wider and grayer the line, the higher up in the chain of command the failure goes. A supply sergeant running a black market operation out of Okinawa is a local command failure. Soldiers murdering innocent civilians and torturing prisoners is a failure at the top.
As I've said before, the grunts should pay for what they've done but so should the leadership. I've seen a whole buncha grunts go to jail over the past couple years, but the people who define where the line is have yet to answer for their crimes.
It is why I want more than to see Bush and his cronies out of power, I want them all in jail too.
Cross-posted at Worlds.
Friday, June 23, 2006
Living Democracy:Getting your toes wet
As an intro explaining what I mean by Living Democracy,here's a point or two to ponder before we begin:
1)Back in the day,when America was a mere baby of a country,Our Democracy was a much more participatory thing than it is now.It's sad really,that we have selectively remembered and mythologized our nation's history.(Good lord,down here in the South,people are still actively pissed off about the Civil War and how all that turned out.I mean serious grudges and stuff,it's transgenerational.And yes,it's scary when you encounter it.These folks have missed alot that's happened since then,and they're scared to death of it.)
But in a larger context,our early formative years were quite turbulent,and we've always had sometimes serious disagreements.There have always been groups of people agitating for something or another in America.Some of it's been stupid,some of it's been smart.Sometimes violent,Sometimes peaceful.We've even seen Good vs Evil come down the pike,several times.
In Early America,Europeans brought with them a sense of needed rules and various hierarchies to keep some semblance of order(American Indians,btw,were not at all uncivilized,they had all kinds of laws and social rules and ways of enforcing those.The difference is,they were not tied to possessions,they were tied to the land,their people were birthed from a place,the whole spiritual life of American Indian Nations is based on that).Some stuff has worked,some hasn't,but the idea of a Real Democracy means things are often untidy.We're a rowdy bunch of mongrels,always have been.
Back then,pretty much only white guys got to decide how things were run.As we've progressed,the system allowed more and more freedom of participation by more people.Ideally at least.But the system is still gamed to favor the few over the many.All along in our history there's been a fight against that,and mostly,we managed to keep things in check,before too much got out of hand.We've not always succeeded,but for the most part we've managed to pull back and check ourselves.There used to be town hall meetings and most everyone in the community showed up,those who were excluded paid attention and usually something would happen to respond accordingly if the right thing wasn't being done.People wrote pamphlets,spoke on the streets,many died trying to set things right,to make this country as fair as possible.
We're a work in progress,WE ALWAYS WILL BE.That's the point of the word"living"in Living Democracy.Think of it as a living,breathing entity.What's happened to us over the last 50 or so years has been a deadening of that way of relating to our country.We need National Civics Lessons.
The words "Citizen","civics","citizenship",and "civilization"need an overhaul in the public mindset.Participation in a Living Democracy is a powerful tool to reclaim your investment in your life,take back your power,and do something contructive to repair a nation that's really in trouble.It's the only way.And it's scary.And it's hard.Sometimes it's downright dangerous.And alot of the time it's also really rewarding and FUN.
2)Which brings me to Fear.
I'm convinced that Americans are scared shitless of each other.There are exceptions to this,but for the most part,we've been subtly and not so subtly had it beat into our collective heads that people are no damned good.Better to stay safe,keep to your comfort zone and be incredibly selective(if not down right snooty)about who you associate with and where you go.This always seems to bring with it a self fullfilling prophecy,and the world is often not kind or gentle,which re-affirms those fears.Caution is good,but isolation mixed with fear is not.If fear is contagious,I'd have to argue it's entirely possible that Courage is just as contagious,if not more so.True Courage is always on the side of doing the right thing,you can never go wrong by siding with that.Or at least not horribly wrong.
That means we have to weave webs with one another.Not just on the internets,but doing the hard work of sneakers on the sidewalks.Try as we might to invent all sorts of ways to communicate with each other,you can't replace working shoulder to shoulder with other human beings for forming bonds that matter.And really,at the end of the day,we all want pretty much the same stuff.Being able to provide for oneself and one's family,a decent education for us and our kiddos(if we have them),a safe little homestead somewhere,a way to retire without being a burden to others,you know,the stuff that gives us Dignity on a very basic level.We all gotta eat,have decent medical and preventative health care,and we especially need to feel like we matter,that our life counts for something.Doesn't matter who ya pray to,who ya vote for,or who ya love,we all want that.Sometimes it goes horribly awry,hence you see violent gangs or religious/ideological cults that do seriously damaged things,crime families,the rise of tyrants and other such nasty things.But other times humans get it right,and that's our reason for being here.
But we can't do that if we fear each other.It means taking some risks.But you don't have to dive in head first without paying attention.Get your toes wet first.Start Small if you're afraid.Keep your personal safety in mind of course,but trust yourself,and think before you act.You'll do fine.And if you fail,that's ok.There's more than plenty enough stuff to do to go around a few times.If you fail at one thing,there's at least a dozen more possibilities to try.We need it ALL.From the silliest bit of political street theater,to protests,to running for office,or forming a grassroots group,to working for ethical candidates,or a myriad of other things,we need writers and artists and professionals and amateurs and truck drivers and parents and singles and teachers and students.See,that's the beauty part of the whole thing,all of us are needed in some capacity in a Living Democracy.Alot of it's trial and error,and there will be disagreements,hurt feelings,and conflicts.That's how things get done,as long as we never forget why we're bothering in the first place.
The following essays I will be writing on this topic will look at problems that have had successful solutions with a Living Democracy approach and we'll also look at various things the political novice can do,as well as more ambitious goals.Our Country is in Crisis,and way too many people feel helpless and unconnected,despite us being all "civilized"and stuff.The only way to stop the right wing from being successful is to lessen the power of Fear.We do have the power to shut that down as we find our Courage,both together and within ourselves.
1)Back in the day,when America was a mere baby of a country,Our Democracy was a much more participatory thing than it is now.It's sad really,that we have selectively remembered and mythologized our nation's history.(Good lord,down here in the South,people are still actively pissed off about the Civil War and how all that turned out.I mean serious grudges and stuff,it's transgenerational.And yes,it's scary when you encounter it.These folks have missed alot that's happened since then,and they're scared to death of it.)
But in a larger context,our early formative years were quite turbulent,and we've always had sometimes serious disagreements.There have always been groups of people agitating for something or another in America.Some of it's been stupid,some of it's been smart.Sometimes violent,Sometimes peaceful.We've even seen Good vs Evil come down the pike,several times.
In Early America,Europeans brought with them a sense of needed rules and various hierarchies to keep some semblance of order(American Indians,btw,were not at all uncivilized,they had all kinds of laws and social rules and ways of enforcing those.The difference is,they were not tied to possessions,they were tied to the land,their people were birthed from a place,the whole spiritual life of American Indian Nations is based on that).Some stuff has worked,some hasn't,but the idea of a Real Democracy means things are often untidy.We're a rowdy bunch of mongrels,always have been.
Back then,pretty much only white guys got to decide how things were run.As we've progressed,the system allowed more and more freedom of participation by more people.Ideally at least.But the system is still gamed to favor the few over the many.All along in our history there's been a fight against that,and mostly,we managed to keep things in check,before too much got out of hand.We've not always succeeded,but for the most part we've managed to pull back and check ourselves.There used to be town hall meetings and most everyone in the community showed up,those who were excluded paid attention and usually something would happen to respond accordingly if the right thing wasn't being done.People wrote pamphlets,spoke on the streets,many died trying to set things right,to make this country as fair as possible.
We're a work in progress,WE ALWAYS WILL BE.That's the point of the word"living"in Living Democracy.Think of it as a living,breathing entity.What's happened to us over the last 50 or so years has been a deadening of that way of relating to our country.We need National Civics Lessons.
The words "Citizen","civics","citizenship",and "civilization"need an overhaul in the public mindset.Participation in a Living Democracy is a powerful tool to reclaim your investment in your life,take back your power,and do something contructive to repair a nation that's really in trouble.It's the only way.And it's scary.And it's hard.Sometimes it's downright dangerous.And alot of the time it's also really rewarding and FUN.
2)Which brings me to Fear.
I'm convinced that Americans are scared shitless of each other.There are exceptions to this,but for the most part,we've been subtly and not so subtly had it beat into our collective heads that people are no damned good.Better to stay safe,keep to your comfort zone and be incredibly selective(if not down right snooty)about who you associate with and where you go.This always seems to bring with it a self fullfilling prophecy,and the world is often not kind or gentle,which re-affirms those fears.Caution is good,but isolation mixed with fear is not.If fear is contagious,I'd have to argue it's entirely possible that Courage is just as contagious,if not more so.True Courage is always on the side of doing the right thing,you can never go wrong by siding with that.Or at least not horribly wrong.
That means we have to weave webs with one another.Not just on the internets,but doing the hard work of sneakers on the sidewalks.Try as we might to invent all sorts of ways to communicate with each other,you can't replace working shoulder to shoulder with other human beings for forming bonds that matter.And really,at the end of the day,we all want pretty much the same stuff.Being able to provide for oneself and one's family,a decent education for us and our kiddos(if we have them),a safe little homestead somewhere,a way to retire without being a burden to others,you know,the stuff that gives us Dignity on a very basic level.We all gotta eat,have decent medical and preventative health care,and we especially need to feel like we matter,that our life counts for something.Doesn't matter who ya pray to,who ya vote for,or who ya love,we all want that.Sometimes it goes horribly awry,hence you see violent gangs or religious/ideological cults that do seriously damaged things,crime families,the rise of tyrants and other such nasty things.But other times humans get it right,and that's our reason for being here.
But we can't do that if we fear each other.It means taking some risks.But you don't have to dive in head first without paying attention.Get your toes wet first.Start Small if you're afraid.Keep your personal safety in mind of course,but trust yourself,and think before you act.You'll do fine.And if you fail,that's ok.There's more than plenty enough stuff to do to go around a few times.If you fail at one thing,there's at least a dozen more possibilities to try.We need it ALL.From the silliest bit of political street theater,to protests,to running for office,or forming a grassroots group,to working for ethical candidates,or a myriad of other things,we need writers and artists and professionals and amateurs and truck drivers and parents and singles and teachers and students.See,that's the beauty part of the whole thing,all of us are needed in some capacity in a Living Democracy.Alot of it's trial and error,and there will be disagreements,hurt feelings,and conflicts.That's how things get done,as long as we never forget why we're bothering in the first place.
The following essays I will be writing on this topic will look at problems that have had successful solutions with a Living Democracy approach and we'll also look at various things the political novice can do,as well as more ambitious goals.Our Country is in Crisis,and way too many people feel helpless and unconnected,despite us being all "civilized"and stuff.The only way to stop the right wing from being successful is to lessen the power of Fear.We do have the power to shut that down as we find our Courage,both together and within ourselves.
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
Monday, March 13, 2006
A Political Act
From BuzzFlash:
On March 8, BuzzFlash ran an interview with Al Franken. The interview included this exchange:
BuzzFlash: You must be ecstatic that you didn't do an interview for the film "The Aristocrats." Are you familiar with the film?
Al Franken: I am. But I haven't worked up my "aristocrat." I suppose if I'd been asked to, I would have worked one up.
BuzzFlash: After you get elected, maybe you'll have to come up with the Senate version.
Al Franken: On the floor of the Senate - tell the aristocrat joke. I'd be the first senator to do that.
The problem with this is that if he actually told The Aristocrats joke on the Senate floor, he'd be escorted off in handcuffs and probably recalled in a landslide. Which is a shame, because it could go down in history as the only filibuster anyone actually listened to.
With that in mind, I humbly offer my take on this timeless joke:
A guy walks into a talent agent's office and says "Have I got an act for you!"
The agent asks "Yeah? What sort of act?" and the guy says,
"It's a political act. There's me, my running mate, our aides and media chums and their aides, plus a few non-union extras who work for less than minimum wage.
"First I walk on stage with a baby seal. I start feeding the baby seal endangered fish that I pull from a 55-gallon drum labeled 'Clean Water.' The fish have been soaking in mercury, polychlorinated biphenyls and crude oil. While the baby seal oinks and pukes and turns green, my running mate starts clubbing it with a 6-foot crucifix. Our media chums narrate this whole thing, explaining how we're making the environment safer for fish and baby seals. Then my running mate starts stuffing illegal campaign contributions into the seal's body cavity while slicing off layers of fat and passing the fat to the audience, while our aides pass out press releases explaining that the baby seal fat is actually safer than it was before I fed it mercury and polychlorinated biphenyls.
"Next, one of the non-union extras drives a huge HumVee onto the stage. We've modified it so it gets half a mile per gallon. It's belching out carbon monoxide and hydrocarbons like crazy. We've sealed all the ventilation ducts so the audience gets the full dose. This makes them light-headed, and more likely to find this entertaining. The HumVee has a banner on the side that says 'Blue Skies.' We start singing Louis Armstrong's 'What a Wonderful World,' in black-face and pickaninny voices. Al Jolson would be proud of this part.
"We truck in a bunch of crippled kids and tell them how compassionate we are, but then we rip up their Medicare checks, dump them out of their wheel chairs and order them off stage. They drag their disfigured bodies from the stage while we call them a drain on society and we sell their wheel chairs to GM for scrap metal.
"While this is going on, one of our media chums is having phone sex with his aide, describing unspeakable acts involving a falafel and a loofah, and he's masturbating the whole time. We patch into the call using an illegal wiretap and broadcast it over the PA system in the theater, and blame the mainstream liberal press for the repulsive content.
"A guy dressed as Jesus walks onstage and kicks a guy dressed as Mohammed in the crotch. Jesus tells the audience that they need to give all their money to him or go to Hell. Then Jesus picks up the crucifix we used to club the baby seal, and attaches strings to it. The strings are connected to the hands and feet of a woman in a persistent vegetative state. Jesus makes her dance around the stage like a marionette, and preaches about the Kingdom of Heaven.
"After that, Rush Limbaugh comes on stage and bloviates about the sanctity of marriage, the importance of personal responsibility, and how drug users should be locked up in prison. As he's delivering this monologue, we trot out an underage girl my running mate has knocked up the day before. We dangle a morning-after pill just out of her reach and lecture her on sexual abstinence. All her jumping up and down causes her to spontaneously abort her 1-day-old embryo.
"We carve Ronald Reagan's face onto a life-sized mock-up of the Statue of Liberty.
"Meanwhile, one of my aides is cleaning an assault rifle, which accidentally goes off and blows the head off a lady in the front row. He then gives a long-winded lecture on the 2nd Amendment, and again, personal responsibility.
"On a giant screen at the back of the stage, we play an endless loop of news coverage of a privileged white girl who went missing in Aruba.
"While this is going on, I start firing missiles at the studio next door, saying that the act over there is against family values and God, and they have weapons of mass destruction aimed at our studio. Then I do a pantomime of looking for the WMD under sofas and behind the curtains, laughing my ass off. I never find the WMD, but I keep insisting that the other studio was a dire threat to our studio.
"I explain how morally superior we are, and how we're the only ones who really understand personal responsibility and Christian values and abstinence and the sanctity of marriage and the evils of drug abuse.
"We all dance and slide around in the baby seal blood and fat and the dead lady's blood, and the PCBs and oil and the tears from the underage pregnant girl (Did I mention that she's homeless? She's homeless.). We're rubbing the blood and oil all over each other, slapping each other on the backs, congratulating ourselves on a job well done, and laughing at the homeless pregnant girl and waterboarding the guy dressed as Mohammed as he issues a fatwah against us and the entire audience.
"Then for the finale, we all join in a rousing chorus of 'Nearer My God To Thee.'
"Now, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking that the audience will walk out in droves and demand refunds. But that's the beauty. My running mate and I have cooked the books so that even after you hand out all the refunds, you still made more money than they originally paid. The audience has to pay for their tickets with their credit cards. We steal the credit card numbers and max them out to pay for the lavish party we throw after the show. Halliburton does the catering, so it costs about twice what it should.
"Now get this: We tape the whole show and broadcast it on Fox. Nobody watches it, but we paid Diebold to make the ratings-counters, so it will have the highest ratings in television history."
The agent says "Wow. That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?"
And the guy says "The Republicans!"
The Walrus
On March 8, BuzzFlash ran an interview with Al Franken. The interview included this exchange:
BuzzFlash: You must be ecstatic that you didn't do an interview for the film "The Aristocrats." Are you familiar with the film?
Al Franken: I am. But I haven't worked up my "aristocrat." I suppose if I'd been asked to, I would have worked one up.
BuzzFlash: After you get elected, maybe you'll have to come up with the Senate version.
Al Franken: On the floor of the Senate - tell the aristocrat joke. I'd be the first senator to do that.
The problem with this is that if he actually told The Aristocrats joke on the Senate floor, he'd be escorted off in handcuffs and probably recalled in a landslide. Which is a shame, because it could go down in history as the only filibuster anyone actually listened to.
With that in mind, I humbly offer my take on this timeless joke:
A guy walks into a talent agent's office and says "Have I got an act for you!"
The agent asks "Yeah? What sort of act?" and the guy says,
"It's a political act. There's me, my running mate, our aides and media chums and their aides, plus a few non-union extras who work for less than minimum wage.
"First I walk on stage with a baby seal. I start feeding the baby seal endangered fish that I pull from a 55-gallon drum labeled 'Clean Water.' The fish have been soaking in mercury, polychlorinated biphenyls and crude oil. While the baby seal oinks and pukes and turns green, my running mate starts clubbing it with a 6-foot crucifix. Our media chums narrate this whole thing, explaining how we're making the environment safer for fish and baby seals. Then my running mate starts stuffing illegal campaign contributions into the seal's body cavity while slicing off layers of fat and passing the fat to the audience, while our aides pass out press releases explaining that the baby seal fat is actually safer than it was before I fed it mercury and polychlorinated biphenyls.
"Next, one of the non-union extras drives a huge HumVee onto the stage. We've modified it so it gets half a mile per gallon. It's belching out carbon monoxide and hydrocarbons like crazy. We've sealed all the ventilation ducts so the audience gets the full dose. This makes them light-headed, and more likely to find this entertaining. The HumVee has a banner on the side that says 'Blue Skies.' We start singing Louis Armstrong's 'What a Wonderful World,' in black-face and pickaninny voices. Al Jolson would be proud of this part.
"We truck in a bunch of crippled kids and tell them how compassionate we are, but then we rip up their Medicare checks, dump them out of their wheel chairs and order them off stage. They drag their disfigured bodies from the stage while we call them a drain on society and we sell their wheel chairs to GM for scrap metal.
"While this is going on, one of our media chums is having phone sex with his aide, describing unspeakable acts involving a falafel and a loofah, and he's masturbating the whole time. We patch into the call using an illegal wiretap and broadcast it over the PA system in the theater, and blame the mainstream liberal press for the repulsive content.
"A guy dressed as Jesus walks onstage and kicks a guy dressed as Mohammed in the crotch. Jesus tells the audience that they need to give all their money to him or go to Hell. Then Jesus picks up the crucifix we used to club the baby seal, and attaches strings to it. The strings are connected to the hands and feet of a woman in a persistent vegetative state. Jesus makes her dance around the stage like a marionette, and preaches about the Kingdom of Heaven.
"After that, Rush Limbaugh comes on stage and bloviates about the sanctity of marriage, the importance of personal responsibility, and how drug users should be locked up in prison. As he's delivering this monologue, we trot out an underage girl my running mate has knocked up the day before. We dangle a morning-after pill just out of her reach and lecture her on sexual abstinence. All her jumping up and down causes her to spontaneously abort her 1-day-old embryo.
"We carve Ronald Reagan's face onto a life-sized mock-up of the Statue of Liberty.
"Meanwhile, one of my aides is cleaning an assault rifle, which accidentally goes off and blows the head off a lady in the front row. He then gives a long-winded lecture on the 2nd Amendment, and again, personal responsibility.
"On a giant screen at the back of the stage, we play an endless loop of news coverage of a privileged white girl who went missing in Aruba.
"While this is going on, I start firing missiles at the studio next door, saying that the act over there is against family values and God, and they have weapons of mass destruction aimed at our studio. Then I do a pantomime of looking for the WMD under sofas and behind the curtains, laughing my ass off. I never find the WMD, but I keep insisting that the other studio was a dire threat to our studio.
"I explain how morally superior we are, and how we're the only ones who really understand personal responsibility and Christian values and abstinence and the sanctity of marriage and the evils of drug abuse.
"We all dance and slide around in the baby seal blood and fat and the dead lady's blood, and the PCBs and oil and the tears from the underage pregnant girl (Did I mention that she's homeless? She's homeless.). We're rubbing the blood and oil all over each other, slapping each other on the backs, congratulating ourselves on a job well done, and laughing at the homeless pregnant girl and waterboarding the guy dressed as Mohammed as he issues a fatwah against us and the entire audience.
"Then for the finale, we all join in a rousing chorus of 'Nearer My God To Thee.'
"Now, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking that the audience will walk out in droves and demand refunds. But that's the beauty. My running mate and I have cooked the books so that even after you hand out all the refunds, you still made more money than they originally paid. The audience has to pay for their tickets with their credit cards. We steal the credit card numbers and max them out to pay for the lavish party we throw after the show. Halliburton does the catering, so it costs about twice what it should.
"Now get this: We tape the whole show and broadcast it on Fox. Nobody watches it, but we paid Diebold to make the ratings-counters, so it will have the highest ratings in television history."
The agent says "Wow. That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?"
And the guy says "The Republicans!"
The Walrus
Thursday, January 19, 2006
Programming note
As you know I've been putting chapters of my book The Captains up at creativity for all to read. Unfortunately, Blogger has decided to screw with that blog regularly (not letting me post, word verification, calling it a spam blog) over the past few weeks and I'm tired of fighting with them. So, to avoid any more glitches, I'm moving it to Misc, where I will continue to post this afternoon. It looks like creativity is dead at Blogger, adjust your bookmarks accordingly. And always remember:
BLOGGER SUCKS WET MONKEY ASS!
BLOGGER SUCKS WET MONKEY ASS!
Sunday, December 04, 2005
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
Retirement Home
The Mrs. and I finally found the perfect place to retire to. It's on Boulevard de La Tour-Mauberg. Now all I have to do is scrape up 750K and beg the owner to sell it.
Did I mention it has 20ft. cielings?
Did I mention it has 20ft. cielings?
Paris - Part 3
Before we went out stomping all over the city, breakfast was at Le Recrutement.
The obligatory pic in the middle of the Champs. This one was taken at the intersection of Avenue Franklin D. Roosevelt.
Gorgeous.
One of our favorite spots in Eiffel Park.
Can you tell we love it here?
The obligatory pic in the middle of the Champs. This one was taken at the intersection of Avenue Franklin D. Roosevelt.
Gorgeous.
One of our favorite spots in Eiffel Park.
Can you tell we love it here?
Paris - Part 2
The F-man at the Arc de Triomphe.
Every time we walk though here, Tschaicovskiy's 1812 Overture starts playing in my head.
Sacre Coeur, 3 ways.
Every time we walk though here, Tschaicovskiy's 1812 Overture starts playing in my head.
Sacre Coeur, 3 ways.
Paris - Part 1
The Mrs. is passed out already, heh, so I figured I'd post a couple pics from vacation. Related to Skippy's post-vacation post (We actually stayed a couple blocks from him but we never hooked up), the outside of Musee d'Orsay.
And yes, it snowed like a motherfucker on Friday. The Mrs. at Tour Eiffel.
My lovely wife near Ille de St. Louis. She loves window shopping over there, especially a Russian store whose name eludes me.
She did serious shopping here, Galleries Lafayette, a must-stop when we're in Paris, already decked out in Christmas finery.
Yours truly braving the snow. Heh. It was fantastic and we were out for about 4 hours in it, walking down to the Louvre and then to the Champs.
And yes, it snowed like a motherfucker on Friday. The Mrs. at Tour Eiffel.
My lovely wife near Ille de St. Louis. She loves window shopping over there, especially a Russian store whose name eludes me.
She did serious shopping here, Galleries Lafayette, a must-stop when we're in Paris, already decked out in Christmas finery.
Yours truly braving the snow. Heh. It was fantastic and we were out for about 4 hours in it, walking down to the Louvre and then to the Champs.
Sunday, November 06, 2005
Where were your balls when we needed 'em?
From Rich Miles:
I agree with the writer's sentiment, but I disagree with his last sentence somewhat. I'm glad the pundits have recovered somewhat from the effects of the Kool-aid and finally overcome their fear enough to speak out. Better late than never, I guess.
I'm gonna go out on a limb here. Please give this some consideration before you send me hate mail and start beating me about the head and shoulders with inflated pig bladders and such.
I'm glad Bush finally got elected.
Look, (he says, crawling somewhat fearfully out of his bunker in an undisclosed location), the big original sin was the rigged election in 2000, which the Chimp almost lost anyway. His backup was in place and his SC(R*)OTUS did their job and installed him. They probably wish they hadn't had to, but that was their job and they did it. *Republican.
By then it was too late. The neocons and christo-fascists had seized the prize.
Then they set about undoing this country. They got a gift on 9/11. Whether they bought it for themselves or not is a whole 'nuther matter, but it let 'em speed-shift their plans for U.S. hegemony into high gear and stuff their foot into the fuel pump.
We all know the results: steal from the poor, give to the rich, trap our military in Iraq with no plans to get them out. Probably with plans to keep them there forever. Rule the world, etc.
The saving grace for us is that these bastards, besides being blinded by their evil ideologies, are so incompetent they couldn't throw a beer party in a brewery. The arrogance of them thinking they own the joint once and for all and can do whatever they want doesn't hurt us in the long run either.
If John Kerry had been elected, and he may actually have been, he would have inherited the whole mess. The Democrats were so disjointed that, given the Republican-controlled Congress, he would not have been able to fix all of Bush's fuckups in his allotted four year term and the country would have elected another fucking Republican in '08. The Dems would never have recovered and America would have truly gone down the shitter under a permanent Republican regime.
With Bush's election, the Repubs have been handed enough rope to hang themselves. They could only keep up the snow job for so long. Stuff we all knew, and stuff that has been leaking out a little at a time for years, have bubbled up through the stinking mess and are making this criminal administration smell bad enough that people are actually beginning to notice. Witness the latest presidential popularity polls. I wonder how many voters regret their choice. I wonder how many would admit it.
It doesn't hurt even a little bit that the cabal is steppin' on each other's weenies and throwin' each other overboard. Whee! It's sure fun to watch!
There have been many voices crying in the wilderness about the Bush cabal, but by and large, nobody but us political junkies took any notice. I think one of the unsung journalistic heroes, probably unwitting, in the unraveling of the Repubs, is (G holds revolver to own head to force finger to do this) Bob Novak. The 'Douchebag for Liberty' gave voice to Joe Wilson, an actual hero, and the outcry gave rise to another hero, Patrick Fitzgerald. Right now, Tina Turner's "We Don't Need Another Hero" is running through my head. Sorry, Honey, but fuckin' A we do!
'Hero' may be too strong a term, but now that the Repub freak show is on the run a little, more and more of the heretofore meek people in the MSM and Congress are emerging, cautiously and tentatively, to throw rocks at their former masters' backs. The political heroes, Boxer, Pelosi, Reid, and others, who have been throwing rocks at their front for some time with little effect are finally getting some support. Let's hope it's a trend.
If the trend keeps up, particularly indictments, public trials, and -please, God- convictions, perhaps an impeachment, the public-at-large may finally take its head out of its collective ass and see this cabal for what it is. Once they do, they'll be so pissed off at being duped, lied to, and played for the suckers they are, though they'll never admit it out loud, that there won't be another Big Business And War At The Expense Of Everybody But The Elite Republican administration for a generation, maybe two, until memory does its stuff and everybody forgets. Then it can start over for all I care. I'll be long gone.
Personally, I'm still hoping for a huge White House play-for-pay homosexual scandal to come out, so to speak. That'd really blow the lid off!
The U.S.A. can get over this. We must or America ends. It will be hard, but we can do it starting with the next election. If we fail to correct it then, shame on us: we're stupid and deserve whatever we get. As Robert Redford said to Michael J. Pollard in "Little Fauss and Big Halsey", "Once is cool. Twice is queer."
Those of us who opposed the near-election, then Supreme Court installation, then God forbid the RE-election of George W. Bush, have known at least the basic outlines of what is being said against Bush these days for at least 5 years, so the only part of the recent revelations that come as a surprise is the sheer brazen balls of these people, and the clarity of the perfidy they've perpetrated on America. Many in the blogosphere, and even a few in the MSM, have been saying things like this, with different details, for the entire time W has been on the national political radar, and some have suffered grievously for their efforts - witness Joseph Wilson, Valerie Plame (who did not herself ever do anything to harm the Bush administration), Gen. Eric Shinseki, Richard Clarke, Paul O'Neill, and a host of others recently documented by Nick Turse of TomDispatch.com.
So my question to these Bush-bashers-come-lately is: where the hell were you people when we needed you?
In the year 2004, those of us working our butts off to get Bush canned stood by and watched as pure lies, gross innuendo, delegated attack politics, guilt by alleged but never proven association, and religious-cum-patriotic posturing scuttled our man Kerry (with a little help from the man himself, it must be said), and caused the weak-minded, the magical thinkers, and the venal to re-elect the most corrupt president in American history because the filth came too fast and furious for anyone to counter, and most of our national news voices didn't really even try.
We knew. We tried to tell you. Almost everything we feared would happen in a second Bush term has come to pass, just as many of us predicted it would. And you weren't listening, and so your sudden epiphanies mean nothing to us.
I agree with the writer's sentiment, but I disagree with his last sentence somewhat. I'm glad the pundits have recovered somewhat from the effects of the Kool-aid and finally overcome their fear enough to speak out. Better late than never, I guess.
I'm gonna go out on a limb here. Please give this some consideration before you send me hate mail and start beating me about the head and shoulders with inflated pig bladders and such.
I'm glad Bush finally got elected.
Look, (he says, crawling somewhat fearfully out of his bunker in an undisclosed location), the big original sin was the rigged election in 2000, which the Chimp almost lost anyway. His backup was in place and his SC(R*)OTUS did their job and installed him. They probably wish they hadn't had to, but that was their job and they did it. *Republican.
By then it was too late. The neocons and christo-fascists had seized the prize.
Then they set about undoing this country. They got a gift on 9/11. Whether they bought it for themselves or not is a whole 'nuther matter, but it let 'em speed-shift their plans for U.S. hegemony into high gear and stuff their foot into the fuel pump.
We all know the results: steal from the poor, give to the rich, trap our military in Iraq with no plans to get them out. Probably with plans to keep them there forever. Rule the world, etc.
The saving grace for us is that these bastards, besides being blinded by their evil ideologies, are so incompetent they couldn't throw a beer party in a brewery. The arrogance of them thinking they own the joint once and for all and can do whatever they want doesn't hurt us in the long run either.
If John Kerry had been elected, and he may actually have been, he would have inherited the whole mess. The Democrats were so disjointed that, given the Republican-controlled Congress, he would not have been able to fix all of Bush's fuckups in his allotted four year term and the country would have elected another fucking Republican in '08. The Dems would never have recovered and America would have truly gone down the shitter under a permanent Republican regime.
With Bush's election, the Repubs have been handed enough rope to hang themselves. They could only keep up the snow job for so long. Stuff we all knew, and stuff that has been leaking out a little at a time for years, have bubbled up through the stinking mess and are making this criminal administration smell bad enough that people are actually beginning to notice. Witness the latest presidential popularity polls. I wonder how many voters regret their choice. I wonder how many would admit it.
It doesn't hurt even a little bit that the cabal is steppin' on each other's weenies and throwin' each other overboard. Whee! It's sure fun to watch!
There have been many voices crying in the wilderness about the Bush cabal, but by and large, nobody but us political junkies took any notice. I think one of the unsung journalistic heroes, probably unwitting, in the unraveling of the Repubs, is (G holds revolver to own head to force finger to do this) Bob Novak. The 'Douchebag for Liberty' gave voice to Joe Wilson, an actual hero, and the outcry gave rise to another hero, Patrick Fitzgerald. Right now, Tina Turner's "We Don't Need Another Hero" is running through my head. Sorry, Honey, but fuckin' A we do!
'Hero' may be too strong a term, but now that the Repub freak show is on the run a little, more and more of the heretofore meek people in the MSM and Congress are emerging, cautiously and tentatively, to throw rocks at their former masters' backs. The political heroes, Boxer, Pelosi, Reid, and others, who have been throwing rocks at their front for some time with little effect are finally getting some support. Let's hope it's a trend.
If the trend keeps up, particularly indictments, public trials, and -please, God- convictions, perhaps an impeachment, the public-at-large may finally take its head out of its collective ass and see this cabal for what it is. Once they do, they'll be so pissed off at being duped, lied to, and played for the suckers they are, though they'll never admit it out loud, that there won't be another Big Business And War At The Expense Of Everybody But The Elite Republican administration for a generation, maybe two, until memory does its stuff and everybody forgets. Then it can start over for all I care. I'll be long gone.
Personally, I'm still hoping for a huge White House play-for-pay homosexual scandal to come out, so to speak. That'd really blow the lid off!
The U.S.A. can get over this. We must or America ends. It will be hard, but we can do it starting with the next election. If we fail to correct it then, shame on us: we're stupid and deserve whatever we get. As Robert Redford said to Michael J. Pollard in "Little Fauss and Big Halsey", "Once is cool. Twice is queer."
Dogs . . . again
Just watching GMA and another Pit Bull kills kid story is on. No link yet, but they did the story in July too. It's time for me to dig up this old standby and post it again too.
26 September 2004:
It's not the dog (yes, some dogs do have genetic mental problems but it's a small percentage of the whole) it's the owners. Dogs are either pets or tools. If your dog is a pet, you have to treat it like one and make it a part of your family. Chaining it to a dog house in the backyard or locking them in the basement and forgetting about them is only a recipie for disaster. They crave companionship and love as much as we do and a dog who's neglected develops the same problems as neglected children. Be responsible please.
26 September 2004:
I know this isn't political, but it is a cause of mine. I posted this a couple months ago on The Fixer. I'm reposting it here today because I just got finished with the Town of Islip Animal Control officer. Seems that during the night, some motherfucking, no good, low-life, piece-of-shit, asshole decided he didn't want his dog anymore and chained him to my mailbox. Have I mentioned that my street has a 40 mph speed? This beautiful little spaniel boy was terrified when I found him this morning. He'd also showed signs of abuse, like someone thought it'd be fun to mutilate his tail. You'd better hope I don't find out who you are, asshole, or you'll know how it feels. At least now he's on his way to a better place, either to a loving home after a vet visit, or to meet the fate of millions of other dogs and cats in our nation's shelters. Either way, it's better than what he's used to.You know I'm a dog lover and so's the Mrs. So, naturally I got a problem with a lot of folks who own dogs. Listen to me, please.
Don't get a fucking dog for stupid reasons. No, you're not going to breed the fucking thing. Just because you see how much puppies are going for, doesn't mean it's a 'get rich quick' scheme, you stupid motherfuckers. Being a breeder is hard work and you sure as hell don't know what the fuck you're doing. It's like never having popped the hood on a car, yet you suddenly feel you're qualified to open an auto repair shop. All you're gonna do is end up with a bunch of unwanted puppies. Here, I'll do you a favor. Google 'dog breeders' and send an email to five of them asking what the business entails. Then tell me you want to be a breeder. Did you know 3 million dogs and cats are put down every year because they're not wanted? Don't add to the fucking problem, dickhead.
Next, don't get a fucking Rottweiler, Doberman, Pit Bull, etc, as a penis extension, you idiot. Just like the sports car, you're only gonna be a little wiener with a bad dog. I see too many folks like this who want the dog as a status symbol and don't want to make the commitment to training and medical care. Moron, a dog is a twelve to fifteen year commitment on your part. It's just like having a kid. But hey, people have kids for the same stupid reasons. Think long and hard about it, please. (Kid or a dog, it doesn't matter. Be sure you want to make the commitment before you jump in with both feet. Just because you can, doesn't mean you should, ass.)
Next, if you're a compulsive person, and you see a cute little dog and you gotta have one, buy jewlery instead. At least you can hock it if you need the bread at a later date. Ain't nobody gonna buy a used dog, moron.
If you do decide to get a dog, do breed research. Every breed has their own traits (I wrote about my dog's foibles here.), so you have to see what will go best with you're lifestyle. If you're laid back and not into doing much training, a dog that requires a firm hand (Dobies, Rotties) ain't for you. Think Lab or Golden. Same thing if you got rugrats running around your house. All my friends' kids know not to run through my house because my Cattle Dog will try to herd them all back into one room:Another thing is the dog, Mrs. F's little princess. She's short, but not little, muscular and strong as hell. If you know anything about Australian Cattle Dogs, they are smart, independent, and stubborn, sorta like me. Well, thanks to their breeding, Cattle Dogs herd cattle by nipping at their ankles to get them to go where the dog wants. Well, since our little Shayna has no cattle to work, she finds herself little jobs. One is getting us to the phone when it rings. If you've ever gotten a nip in the ass from one of these dogs well . . . let's just say it leaves a mark.
My point is that the dog looks at little kids as cattle. She tries to keep them together and won't let them run around. So today, not only do I have to keep an eye on the Mrs.' breakable shit, but I have to watch her little varmint like a hawk so she doesn't nip one of the kids. Can't break the dog of that habit, it's instinct.
If your kid gets nipped in the ankle by an Australian Cattle Dog, you're gonna have a lot of crying on your hands, trust me. If you're gonna get a mutt, use this rule of thumb. A mutt will generally act like the breed it most closely resembles.
My point is that if you're gonna get a dog, do it for the right reasons. Don't have big plans until you see what kind of dog you have, it's personality and it's traits. Get a dog because you want a pet and a companion. Anything else that flows from there is gravy.
Heed my words, Lugnut.
It's not the dog (yes, some dogs do have genetic mental problems but it's a small percentage of the whole) it's the owners. Dogs are either pets or tools. If your dog is a pet, you have to treat it like one and make it a part of your family. Chaining it to a dog house in the backyard or locking them in the basement and forgetting about them is only a recipie for disaster. They crave companionship and love as much as we do and a dog who's neglected develops the same problems as neglected children. Be responsible please.
Saturday, November 05, 2005
Hoo boy
To wit:
Or:
Stuttgart, Germany
The Hawker 144 business jet taxied to the private aviation area and shut down. A lone figure came down the stairs and went directly to the waiting Jaguar limousine. The car left quickly, the driver knowing his passenger's destination in advance.
Schloss Adlersee am Neckar was constructed in 1671 by Graf Ludwig von Adlersee as a retreat from the business of ruling this little section of Germany that had now become a major industrial area. Overlooking the River Neckar, the castle's battlements commanded the waterway, an excellent field of fire ensured against a landing by his enemies' troops. It was a medieval Gothic fort that had been updated into a luxurious home by the current owner.
Grafin Inge von Adlersee was the epitome of Aryan royalty. Though her title was purely ceremonial, von Adlersee lived the part of German Duchess. She had the money, the sole heiress of Herbert and Frieda von Adlersee, sole owners of von Adlersee Export of Stuttgart GmbH., a rail, truck, and shipping concern with operations in Stuttgart, Bremerhaven, Paris, London, and New York. Twenty-two year old Inge was an incredibly wealthy woman.
Beautiful as well, tall, a shade over six feet, golden hair, and sapphire blue eyes that could freeze boiling water. No one would think of her as anything but German, even with the deep bronze tan. Flatley noticed the tan and her beautifully proportioned figure as soon as she entered the parlor.
"Good evening, my Lord," she said in King's English.
"Guten abend, Grafin von Adlersee," he replied in flawless Hochdeutsch. She put her arms around his neck and drew him toward her, kissing his lips passionately. He slipped his tongue inside her mouth and she bit down on it, causing him to pull away.
"Not yet, liebling," she purred.
He tasted blood and she could see it aroused him. He came to her again and pulled her close, his smile was lustful. "I wish you hadn't gone to Nice, I missed you," he said before kissing her once more.
She let his tongue in her mouth then, letting him explore with it. "You could have come," her breath was ragged in his ear.
His bites on her neck went from playful to painful, and it stimulated her. "I have this nasty business to look over, my darling," he whispered. His manhood began to swell against her thigh. "And I don't do well in the sun." From afar, they heard one of the servants clear his throat. They released each other and turned to him.
"Dinner is served, my Lady," the butler said.
Inge kissed him again, and looked down at the erection that was tenting Flatley's pants. She took it in her hand and squeezed. "Keep that thought, my Lord."
. . .
His breath came quickly, ragged as she stood over him, and his erection felt as if it were about to burst. His hands were cuffed behind his back as he knelt there naked, on the floor of a room that could only have been built for one purpose.
"You English," she spat at him. "British men are weaklings."
"Yes, Mistress," he said, keeping his eyes focused on the floor as she circled him, her spike heels echoing through the room as they met the floor. She'd changed, from the formal gown into a leather outfit, reminiscent of the SS uniforms of Nazi Germany. She slapped the back of his head.
"The Americans fucked all your women during the war, at least that's what my grandfather told me," she said. She whipped him once across the shoulders with her riding crop and tears welled up in his eyes. "Your women liked the strong Americans much better than their pale little men."
"Yes, Mistress," he said demurely. Flatley's eyes found his manhood, his raging stiffness that screamed for release. Dampness appeared at the tip, which she noticed.
"Oh no you don't, weakling!" She slapped him again. "You will pleasure me first, before you may be allowed to feel pleasure. If your efforts are less than satisfactory, you will get no pleasure." She unbuckled, and then unzipped, her leather pants, the two gold zippers running from the waist to her ankle. Inge stepped out and kicked them away. Pulling a stool from the corner, she placed it before him and sat. With a gloved hand, she grabbed a shock of his wavy brown hair and spread her legs, pulling his face into her. "Pleasure me now." She forced the back of his head as he lapped at her like a thirsty animal.
. . .
"Don't you dare," Inge growled. She could tell Flatley was losing control and cracked her riding crop across his chest, raising another welt. When she deemed he'd earned this, she released him, only to bind his wrists and ankles to the bed. Inge straddled him, riding his manhood as if she were atop a horse, using her fingers to help her achieve release again. "I'm not finished," she moaned.
"I can't . . . hold it . . ."
"You will," and she slapped his face. She felt it then, the sensation that told her orgasm was imminent, and she slammed herself down on him, harder, burying him inside her wetness. "Oh, yes," she screamed as waves of pleasure wracked her body.
"Please, Mistress, I can't . . ." Flatley pleaded. She rose from him and untied one of his arms before straddling his face.
"You may," she conceded, and he took his free hand to bring himself the rest of the way while his tongue explored her, bringing her to release once more.
From Technocracy - © 2005 RH Wood and Blue Dog Ltd.
Or:
Sedona, Arizona
Kim, Winters, and Clayton sat in the back of the S-76, the four surviving policemen were handcuffed facing them, their eyes directed to the floor for they knew that they had died last night when NoahCorp security took them into custody. What would happen in a few minutes was just a formality. Their destination was just over the next ridge.
. . .
Many years ago, a researcher named Pavlov put forth the hypothesis of conditioned response. He would ring a bell just before he fed his research dogs. He done this for a period, and then one day, he rang the bell, but was not forthcoming with the dogs' dinner. Pavlov found that the dogs would salivate upon hearing the bell in anticipation of food. Dogs, most of the theories in training them involved the conditioned response. This didn't only apply for domesticated dogs.
They began to salivate when they heard the rotor blades of the S-76 for they were dogs, and this was a conditioned response. This secluded valley was where these dogs lived, not domesticated dogs and not wolves. These were the feral dogs of the Australian Outback, the dingoes. Numbering close to a hundred, the dingoes were fed every day by helicopter, and they were fed live meals, mainly feral pigs, also a product of the Australian wilderness and a danger to the ecosystem there. NoahCorp subsidized efforts to capture the pigs and transport them to Sedona as food for the dingoes. Twice daily, a helicopter would fly low and drop several live feral pigs to the dogs.
As the chopper approached, the dogs began to circle, their drooling jaws pointing skyward in anticipation of their breakfast.
. . .
The helicopter pulled into a hover and Winters opened the side door. The dingoes below, seeing the door open, began to get agitated. Clayton removed the cuffs from one of the policemen. Kim nodded to Winters.
"This is for Carrie," she snarled as she grabbed him by his garments and threw him from the aircraft.
"Watch," Winters growled at the remaining three. They raised their eyes to see their comrade trying to stand, the dingoes circling him. A milky white bone stuck from his arm at a crazy angle, the compound fracture earned by his fall from the chopper. Blood poured from it onto the ground; some of the dogs began lapping at the dark stain, then at the blood dripping from his fingers into their drooling mouths.
His head spun from side to side, looking for a place of safety to which he could run. The dogs began shriek then, as only dingoes do, agitation was turning into frenzy among the pack. The Alpha dog, the dominant male, circled the prey, biting and shrieking at others who would try to eat before him. Alpha surged toward the man, and the pack followed in their insane bloodlust, to nip at his ankles, then his calves. He started to run.
One of the three turned his head to the floor, unable to watch what was coming, for the dingoes tasted the blood now, and they were hungry. Winters smashed the butt of her pistol into his face.
"Watch," she demanded and the man raised his eyes to see the dingoes take his comrade down; first tearing at his clothes then the flesh beneath. In their frenzy, they tore at him, and he screamed, inaudible to those in the helicopter, but he screamed at them for his life or to end it quickly, and he screamed for another excruciatingly long minute as the wild dogs tore him apart.
Kim nodded at Winters and the next man met the same fate, and the next, until the last, and this was done on purpose, for the last living member of Masterson's private army was a woman.
Kim looked to her now, the front of her clothes covered with her own vomit, her eyes glazed over after watching the horror that would surely visit her in a minute. "Do you want to live?" Kim asked quietly, a hatred glowing in the jade orbs.
"Yes," the shattered woman replied from that far off place.
"Will you cooperate with us, truthfully?"
"Yes, I will, I will do anything not to die like that," she said as vomit rose in her throat again.
Kim nodded to Clayton who spoke to the pilot. "Take us back."
From Lightning Crashes - © 2002 RH Wood and Blue Dog Ltd.
Thursday, November 03, 2005
From the mouth of Babes Babs
For all our Kal-ee-for-nya voters, here's an e-mail from Senator Babs to my wife laying it all out. She never sends me anything! Oh well, I guess the gals stick together.
Dear Mrs. G,
Next Tuesday, Californians will head to the polls to vote in a special election organized by Governor Schwarzenegger and his right-wing allies. It's critical that we stand up and be counted on these important issues.
So I wanted to take just a moment to write to you since many of you have asked me how I plan to vote.
Please join me in voting NO on 73, 74, 75, 76, 77, and 78, and YES on 79. Here's why:
VOTE NO on Proposition 73
Proposition 73 is just the latest attempt by right-wing conservatives to take away a woman's right to choose. This dangerous measure would jeopardize the health of our teenagers, when we should instead be focusing our efforts on preventing teen pregnancy. Prop. 73 unwisely tries to legislate family communication and unrealistically expects teenagers to navigate through a cumbersome and confusing judicial process.
As the San Francisco Chronicle said in their editorial opposing Prop. 73, "The way to reduce abortion is not a law that requires frightened young women to either face a judge or the wrath of their parents. It's about increasing communication -- about sex, about choices, about consequences -- that prevents an accidental pregnancy in the first place." Vote NO on 73.
VOTE NO on Proposition 74
Proposition 74 is an effort to divert attention from the real problems facing California's public schools by turning teachers into scapegoats. The initiative does nothing to improve California's public schools -- and could actually harm them by making it harder to recruit good teachers.
Schools in California can already dismiss teachers found to be deficient during their first two years of service without a hearing. In fact, every local school has a system in place to deal with struggling teachers. At a time when we should be encouraging people to choose a career in teaching, Prop. 74 will hurt those recruitment efforts by not affording due process to those in the teaching profession who do so much for California's children. Vote NO on 74.
VOTE NO on Proposition 75
Prop. 75 targets teachers, nurses, firefighters and police officers with new political restrictions designed to weaken their ability to advocate for better schools, patient care, and public safety. That's why campaign watchdogs like the League of Women Voters of California oppose Prop. 75. Corporations already outspend unions on politics 24-1, according to the nonpartisan Center for Responsive Politics. Yet the governor's corporate campaign contributors put Prop. 75 on the ballot to increase their grip on our government, and make it easier for the governor to pass his harmful agenda. Vote NO on 75.
VOTE NO on Proposition 76
Proposition 76 is an attempted power grab by Governor Schwarzenegger that gives him the power to bypass the legislature and make cuts to the budget without any oversight or public approval. Prop. 76 does not protect education funding -- and it would in fact reduce the long-term Prop. 98 school spending guarantee by $4 billion per year. Under Prop. 76, local governments could also lose hundreds of millions of dollars for police, firefighters, health care and social service programs. Vote NO on 76.
VOTE NO on Proposition 77
Proposition 77 is a flawed redistricting initiative that cuts out the public, has no accountability provision, and is unfair to those most underrepresented.
This is another clear power grab by the Governor and his allies who reach all the way to the most conservative Republicans in Washington, DC. Vote NO on 77.
VOTE NO on Proposition 78 and VOTE YES on Proposition 79
Everybody knows we need to do more to make prescription drugs more affordable. So let's do it right.
Proposition 79 will provide real prescription drug discounts to seniors and lower income Californians who need them the most. Prop. 79 will also establish a pharmacy assistance program to help businesses, small employer purchasing pools, and labor organization health and welfare funds -- among others -- receive the same pharmacy discounts and rebates from drug makers. Finally, drug companies would be held accountable by a state advisory board that would review the pricing and access of prescription drugs under the program.
Prop. 79 will make a difference. Proposition 78, on the other hand, calls for a voluntary system and at the end of the day will mean little or nothing for the people of California. So vote NO on 78 and YES on 79.
In Friendship,
Barbara Boxer
Thanks, Babs, but we're way ahead of you. The real reason to vote no on Ah-nold's proposals is that he proposed them. He spent about $80mil on this idiotic special election hoping nobody but his supporters would show up to vote. Fuck him. Prop 78 is sponsored by Big Pharma, so that's no, and we're not doing anything to diminish a woman's right to choose or place her in jeopardy, so 73 is out.
Dear Mrs. G,
Next Tuesday, Californians will head to the polls to vote in a special election organized by Governor Schwarzenegger and his right-wing allies. It's critical that we stand up and be counted on these important issues.
So I wanted to take just a moment to write to you since many of you have asked me how I plan to vote.
Please join me in voting NO on 73, 74, 75, 76, 77, and 78, and YES on 79. Here's why:
VOTE NO on Proposition 73
Proposition 73 is just the latest attempt by right-wing conservatives to take away a woman's right to choose. This dangerous measure would jeopardize the health of our teenagers, when we should instead be focusing our efforts on preventing teen pregnancy. Prop. 73 unwisely tries to legislate family communication and unrealistically expects teenagers to navigate through a cumbersome and confusing judicial process.
As the San Francisco Chronicle said in their editorial opposing Prop. 73, "The way to reduce abortion is not a law that requires frightened young women to either face a judge or the wrath of their parents. It's about increasing communication -- about sex, about choices, about consequences -- that prevents an accidental pregnancy in the first place." Vote NO on 73.
VOTE NO on Proposition 74
Proposition 74 is an effort to divert attention from the real problems facing California's public schools by turning teachers into scapegoats. The initiative does nothing to improve California's public schools -- and could actually harm them by making it harder to recruit good teachers.
Schools in California can already dismiss teachers found to be deficient during their first two years of service without a hearing. In fact, every local school has a system in place to deal with struggling teachers. At a time when we should be encouraging people to choose a career in teaching, Prop. 74 will hurt those recruitment efforts by not affording due process to those in the teaching profession who do so much for California's children. Vote NO on 74.
VOTE NO on Proposition 75
Prop. 75 targets teachers, nurses, firefighters and police officers with new political restrictions designed to weaken their ability to advocate for better schools, patient care, and public safety. That's why campaign watchdogs like the League of Women Voters of California oppose Prop. 75. Corporations already outspend unions on politics 24-1, according to the nonpartisan Center for Responsive Politics. Yet the governor's corporate campaign contributors put Prop. 75 on the ballot to increase their grip on our government, and make it easier for the governor to pass his harmful agenda. Vote NO on 75.
VOTE NO on Proposition 76
Proposition 76 is an attempted power grab by Governor Schwarzenegger that gives him the power to bypass the legislature and make cuts to the budget without any oversight or public approval. Prop. 76 does not protect education funding -- and it would in fact reduce the long-term Prop. 98 school spending guarantee by $4 billion per year. Under Prop. 76, local governments could also lose hundreds of millions of dollars for police, firefighters, health care and social service programs. Vote NO on 76.
VOTE NO on Proposition 77
Proposition 77 is a flawed redistricting initiative that cuts out the public, has no accountability provision, and is unfair to those most underrepresented.
This is another clear power grab by the Governor and his allies who reach all the way to the most conservative Republicans in Washington, DC. Vote NO on 77.
VOTE NO on Proposition 78 and VOTE YES on Proposition 79
Everybody knows we need to do more to make prescription drugs more affordable. So let's do it right.
Proposition 79 will provide real prescription drug discounts to seniors and lower income Californians who need them the most. Prop. 79 will also establish a pharmacy assistance program to help businesses, small employer purchasing pools, and labor organization health and welfare funds -- among others -- receive the same pharmacy discounts and rebates from drug makers. Finally, drug companies would be held accountable by a state advisory board that would review the pricing and access of prescription drugs under the program.
Prop. 79 will make a difference. Proposition 78, on the other hand, calls for a voluntary system and at the end of the day will mean little or nothing for the people of California. So vote NO on 78 and YES on 79.
In Friendship,
Barbara Boxer
Thanks, Babs, but we're way ahead of you. The real reason to vote no on Ah-nold's proposals is that he proposed them. He spent about $80mil on this idiotic special election hoping nobody but his supporters would show up to vote. Fuck him. Prop 78 is sponsored by Big Pharma, so that's no, and we're not doing anything to diminish a woman's right to choose or place her in jeopardy, so 73 is out.
Sunday, October 16, 2005
Sunday chores
Of course, I couldn't just build shelves. They had to tie in with the theme of the room. Yes, I made the gate too. (Pardon the mess, I still got a little more detail work to do.)
As you can see, the anal German in me surfaces when I build shit. This was unfinished basement once. Well, until I got a hold of it. Now it's my office/bedroom.
My office.
The bedroom is past the arch.
Yes, I built the desk too.
My adult supervision.
Update:
Mrs. F added her touch to turn it into a garden.
Thursday, October 13, 2005
10 Pledges to Demand from Democrats
I'm more than a little leery about anything that even sounds like it resembles a "Contract with America" after the last time, given that politicians will sign anything that sounds good even though they know nobody will hold them accountable so they don't have to live up to it. This one from AlterNet sounds good anyway.
In other words, "We'll do what we should have been doing all along." Your thoughts?
You hear it every day in Washington: "Democrats have no ideas, no programs, no deeply held beliefs, no lines in the sand they will not cross." The only discernible passion Democrats display is a passion to be in power again. But in power to do what? You tell me. I have no friggin idea, and I deeply suspect neither do they.
That's why we need to force them to sign a contract with us this time. To put it bluntly, we don't trust them any longer. They've double-crossed at every major moment -- on war, on taxes, on the environment, on health care. They took or votes and our hopes and bargained them away to the enemy for the political equivalent of nylons, smokes and chocolate bars.
So I took the points Bob listed in his article, "embellished" them and put them into the form of 10 contractual pledges Democrat candidates can and should embrace.
A Progressive Contract With America
If elected to office I promise to fully, enthusiastically and aggressively work to pass legislation that achieves the following goals:
We Will Bring the Troops Home. Our military has been stretched to the breaking point through a series of unwise deployments, particularly the war in Iraq. We will begin rebuilding America's all-volunteer military by first setting a date-certain for withdrawal from Iraq, beginning with National Guard and reservists. We will pass legislation requiring US troops begin leaving Iraq at the rate of 15,000 a month. We will work as closely as possible with Iraqi government officials to make this withdraw orderly while continuing to provide them the resources needed to train and equip their own soldiers and police forces.
We Will Crack Down on Corruption. The revolving door between corporate lobbies and high public office must be closed. We will pass legislation prohibiting legislators, their senior aides and executive branch political appointees from lobbying for two years after leaving office. We will let the sun shine into the deepest corners by requiring detailed public reporting of all contacts between lobbyists and legislators and the timely posting of such contacts on the Web. We pledge to apply these rules to all, regardless of party, as one way to take big money out of politics.
We Will Make Public Officials Accountable. When public officials fail to do their job, as in the pre-9/11 and WMD intellegence faliures, we will require an independent investigation be launched so that no official's actions, regardless of rank or position, escapes review. We will detail action on the urgent needs that this Administration has ignored: Improve port security, bolster first responders and public health capacity, and require adequate defense planning by high-risk chemical plants. And we will attack fraud, waste and abuse, beginning with the pork-barrel squandering of national security funds.
We Will Unleash New Energy for America. We understand that the "age of oil," is nearing an end. Therefore we pledge to launch and fund a concerted drive towards real energy independence for America. We must approach this task with the same sense of urgency, funding and attention that the nation gave to the Manhattan Project. We will focus these efforts solely on mainstreaming renewable, non-polluting sources of energy such as hydrogen, wind and solar, with the goal of achieving total energy independence no later than 2020.
We Will Rebuild America First. We will pass legislation rescinding Bush's tax cuts for the already wealthy and corporations in order to create more jobs here than overseas. We will accomplish that, in part, by using the additional tax revenue to create good-paying jobs rebuilding America's decaying infrastructure.
We Will Make Work Pay Once Again. There are only three nations on earth with such a vast disparity between rich and poor, Russia, Mexico and the United States. It is a disgraceful effect of GOP economic policies that favor corporations and the wealthy while ignoring hard working Americans. While CEO pay has moved steadily upward, the pay of working Americans has fallen, in many cases below the official poverty level. We promise to reverse that trend, beginning by passing legislation raising the minimum wage to a level that reflects current economic reality. We will encourage workers, including white collar workers, to take a hand in their own destinies by joining unions, as well as becoming shareholders in the companies that employ them and fully participating in both union and shareholder activities. We will insist that any companies that receive government contracts pay the prevailing wage.
We Will Make Healthcare Affordable. We pledge to fix America's broken healthcare system, a to do so quickly. We will study and then propose a single-payer, universal, healthcare system to be in place no later than 2015. We will also immediately reverse the Republican shameful sellout to the pharmaceutical industry by empowering Medicare to bargain down drug prices andallowing people to purchase drugs from safe outlets abroad.
We Will Protect Retirement Security. We pledge to strengthen Social Security. We will not risk Social Security by privatizing it. Instead we will modernize Social Security by, in part, recognizing that people live and work longer than they did 75 years ago.We will also modernize the ways the Social Security Trust Fund is invested to assure it always grows at least as fast as core inflation. We will also require companies to treat the shop floor like the top floor when it comes to managing their pensions and healthcare benefits.
We Will Keep the American Dream Alive. We will immediately stop and reverse current GOP efforts to cut eligibility for college grants and to limit loans. Instead we will offer a contract to American students: If they graduate from high school, they will be able to afford college or the higher technical training needed to be successful in today's economy. We will pay for this by preserving the estate tax on the wealthiest multimillion-dollar estates in America.
We Will Provide Real Security for America. We will foster and lead an aggressive international alliance to track down stateless terrorists, capture or kill them and confiscate their assets. Captured terrorists will be always be treated in accordance with international law. We will increase efforts and funding to track down and secure "loose nukes." We will detail action on the urgent needs that this Administration has ignored: Improve port security, bolster first responders and public health capacity, and require adequate defense planning by high-risk chemical plants. We will also affirm the reality that no nation can ever be secure as long as its borders are not. We will bring order and security to our borders by increasing border patrols and controls and by instituting a fair, manageable and humane guest worker program. We will also aggressively prosecute employers who employ or exploit illegal immigrant workers.
Date:______________________
Candidate:______________________________________
So, maybe you should email or mail this to your elected representative and let him/her know that, if they intend to run for re-election the price of your vote is their signature on this document.
In other words, "We'll do what we should have been doing all along." Your thoughts?
Sunday, October 09, 2005
Yesterday's excuses
Mrs. F and yours truly were at the wedding of our oldest and closest friends' oldest daughter. (Say it a couple times, it works) Needless to say, we had far too much fun. It was wonderful, though I feel a bit old, because I've known these kids all their lives. An excellent coincidence, the wedding was held at the country club that's 2 blocks from my house. The car found its way home by itself.
1 - My beautiful wife and me after too much Jack Daniels and Absolut.
2 - The bride's two younger sisters. The one on the left gets married next year. Gotta go to Boston for that one.
3 - Yours truly, the bride's little brother, and the proud daddy.
4 - With the beautiful bride. I remember when she was an annoying little rugrat.
5 - Mrs. F with the mother of the bride (Mrs F's best friend) and the next victim. Heh.
6 & 7 - Me with mom and dad.
1 - My beautiful wife and me after too much Jack Daniels and Absolut.
2 - The bride's two younger sisters. The one on the left gets married next year. Gotta go to Boston for that one.
3 - Yours truly, the bride's little brother, and the proud daddy.
4 - With the beautiful bride. I remember when she was an annoying little rugrat.
5 - Mrs. F with the mother of the bride (Mrs F's best friend) and the next victim. Heh.
6 & 7 - Me with mom and dad.
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